Notes from not-so-ordinary days

A round up of what I'm thinking, reading, viewing and living this past week

Life happened large this week.

Three days in hospital with an infection of unknown origin and 48 hours intravenous antibiotics. In a ward with elderly people living the reality of end-of-life preparations.

The awful, gut-wrenching news from the USA.

News that my son’s marriage is dissolving.

A visit from my cousin Linda and her husband, on holiday from the UK. I have now personally met two members of my very large and extensive clan of relatives. She remembered me as a four year old when our family visited her home in 1963, shortly before we immigrated to Australia. Our sons look so much alike they could be brothers.

I lost two paid subscribers. Picked up 10 free ones. Not that I usually watch the numbers that closely. Or that it matters. But perhaps it does, because here I am mentioning it.

I probably want to know why, and what I am not writing (providing?) that people want or need. And then I remind myself (again), that’s not why I’m here. And I tell myself to stop worrying.

Bigger things are happening in our lives that require my attention.

Autonomy is the word rattling around my brain this past week.

Hospitals have little time for it. Schools too. In the name of care they rob us of choice. And I get that, understand why.

Compliance is necessary. But is it right? Is it helpful? Is it really needed? Is there another way to achieve the objectives that is more human, kind, built on empathy rather than efficiency?

Which brings me to cost. And how we mark the moments of our lives by the dollars we accumulate and spend, individually and collectively. How our choices are framed and limited by this accounting.

My thinking is informed by what I read.

Fran wrote about how we individually and collectively frame childhood around the systems we build and expect children to fit inside. “There is no one way that childhood should look like, no one ideal child, no one ‘ideal’ way children should develop or progress. No universal child.” This I feel deeply, believe with my whole heart. Yet as a parent I fell prey all too often to the pull of conformity, seeking comfort and reassurance from ‘group think’.

Suzanne said “Compliance is easier to measure and manage than agency.” She invites us to explore autonomy as parents and educators. Autonomy wasn’t something I considered much at all until about a dozen years ago: it’s dominating my thinking now. Part of the reason for that is my exploration of PDA: pathological demand avoidance, otherwise known as pervasive drive for autonomy.

Katy reminded me that it wasn’t until our family consciously and deliberately stepped off the school system conveyor belt, and set about creating an alternative, that I began to see the historical and structural connection between overscheduled childhood and capitalism. And reading that brought me back to the developmental importance of play, and of course, autonomy.

One of my favourite weekly reads is The Narrative Nest. This week it took me on a trip back through time, remembering a much loved classic, The Time Machine. It left me wanting to put away my writing tools and spend the rest of my life reading. I am so tempted! Best of all, April (who has the good sense to be named after my daughter), shared truly excellent tips on how to read it with our children, and how easily it can be built into an interdisciplinary study connecting literature, math, physics, and art.

My passion is helping people grow their confidence in their own wisdom and understanding, especially when it comes to knowing who their children are and what they need. I do this by encouraging them to create their own homeschooling learning plans, placing their child and family firmly at the centre. Gem offers some brilliant, practical suggestions on how to do this, with examples, urging us to set our curriculum intentions for home education.

I didn’t know it was Data Privacy Week, but thanks to AI Family Network I do now. And I’m working through the tips in their newsletter to help me change my settings to protect mine.

I am lapping up anything Linda Caroll is writing at the moment. Latching onto a resource like that is a sure sign I’m growing and learning. AI is so controversial: people are both fascinated and deeply suspicious. Some enthusiastically embrace it; others shun it. I’m on the fence. I dabble and play a little with ChatGPT. Linda says “there’s really only one smart way for writers to use AI” and I agree. “As a teacher.”

Manisha, (“mom, technologist, and lifelong learner sharing how families can grow with AI—safely, creatively, and confidently”) is showing me how to do that, while Sam takes me on a deeply philosophical journey exploring my relationship with AI, introduces me to new authors also writing on the topic, and helping me learn how to use it as a writing and thinking tool.

It’s been a big week, heavy in parts, light in others.

I am still recuperating. Taking it easy. Impatiently.

Why are there are only so many hours a day, and why must I spend my evenings relaxing on the couch with my beloved husband, in front of the television streaming entertaining shows? I could be writing…

As always, I’m dropping Notes most days and would love to connect with you that way. Don’t forget we can keep the conversation going on any of my posts by adding a comment on any of them too.

Whatever your approach, your lifestyle or education philosophy, I’m here to support you. Take what you need, leave the rest. I want you to lean on my experience because I’ve leant on others — we are in this together, growing and learning from each other!

That’s all for now! Until next time, Beverley